Hello Again Adventurer: Here is the third secret of "mind health habits one step at a time!"
The second thinking error correction was to STOP OVERGENERALIZATION.
NOW: Thinking Error # 3: Change this and Change your entire life
MENTAL FILTERING is a process of the brain acknowledging information that only fits with a constructed belief system. This usually consists of focusing only on certain aspects that fit within a limited worldview in order to reaffirm previous beliefs. This is usually looking for only negative or upsetting aspects of something while ignoring the rest. (picking out the worst in partner may sound familiar here)
What to DO: First become aware of your negative filters, and notice when you get into a negative trance.
Then, notice how you are focusing on only the tragic details. (For example: you may ignore all the positive feedback your boss gives you while you zone in on the single point of criticism mentioned.)
Next: Assess the situation for the positives and possibilities. Reflect on all the good that is in the situation, and notice if the negative may be assuaged.
For example: When your significant other forgets to show up for your special date, you might start to think about all the times in the past that they showed up late or not at all. You may begin to wonder why you've chosen this mate in the first place. You may begin to feel heavy and filled with anger. If this happens, take a moment to assess the filter.
Notice that you have options.
You can choose to leave your partner if they continue to cause you harm.
And, realize that there are positive qualities to your partner that do not anger you. Perhaps that he/she has nice eyes and does often times remember to show up to dates.
Now you can objectively decide what to do or not do based on a calm evaluation of the circumstance. Weighing out what you really want and maybe you want to upgrade partners. Maybe not.
Become aware of those filters to feel better and help others identify their filters faster.
With Love From the Hypnotist
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Thank you for helping yourselves and one another!
Light to All!